Noticing
October 2026: Slow Exhale
Dear Readers,
The month of September felt like a whirlwind for me. My daughter’s wedding was the Big Joyous Thing. But work was exceptionally busy as predicted. As I write this blog post, we put three homes under contract this week alone. We are prepping a Greenlake home for market and have two, wonderful Queen Anne homes that we brought on that would love to have new stewards.
Yesterday was a treat as I got to Zoom for 90 minutes with MY coach, Tara Mohr, and 5 other cohorts. What I love about spending any time with Tara is that I always learn SO much in the shortest amount of time. I learned the concept of whole body listening through her many years ago. That when someone is speaking to really lean into the experience of listening and nothing else. Not judging what is being said, not relating it to a similar experience you’ve had or not had. Not pre-judging what you think will be said. But being fully present to do nothing but listen.
Hearing is different from listening. It takes work to stay with it and stay open and practice the pause, to restrain myself from jumping in. But by just waiting patiently and not rushing to fill in the silence…that is when it seems that gold can be struck.
Tara has five principles she practices when listening to a coaching client. I think we all can use them to be better listeners even if we aren’t officially coaching anyone.
First, listen for which voice is speaking. Which part of yourself is speaking? Move away from self-criticism, voice of culture, shoulds and reactivity. Move towards inner wisdom, your authentic self, resonance and joy and what gives you meaning. If you’ve read her book Playing Big, you will recognize the concept of The Inner Critic v The Inner Mentor.
Second, Coach to access the Voice of your inner wisdom. It will always guide you to your own inner power, wisdom, and possibility. We do this by: providing a container of time, space and listening that allows you to become aware of, articulate and process an experience. We ask directional questions. We bear loving witness by full body listening and by being an attentive, loving witness.
We help shift state - somatically, cognitively, emotionally and spiritually. As coaches we can take a client through The Coaching Arc which is as follows:
unraveling what is
shift energy
fan the flame
have our client take the next step and set an action plan.
Third and fourth, Playing Big is inwardly defined. It is being more loyal to your dreams than your fears. Playing Big is an On Going Practice. We can make major, life-changing headway in a particular time period AND the work is ongoing and never ends.
Fifth and finally, Match the Tool to the Moment!
Core Foundation: Your Playing Big Inner Critic/Inner Mentor
Inner Work Tools: Navigating Fear, Unhooking from Praise & Criticism, Discerning Callings
Skills for Outer Impact: Communication, Negotiation, Innovation, Sustaining Long Term Action
One of Tara’s trademark questions is: What would Love360 look like in this situation? It means, if your ego was not getting in your way, and you could give this person the benefit of the doubt and assume that they mean no malice and are doing the absolute, very best they can…then, how would reacting in the most loving possible way look like.
I cannot recommend Tara Mohr’s training enough. She offers the basic Playing Big Course throughout the year. I took it over ten years ago and again each and every year along with the Facilitator training and find it life changing. I will most likely return to it over and over again for as long as I can.
I shared with you that I have started an experimental experience of sorts called The Circle of Six. It all started with my fascination with Priya Parker’s book The Art of Gatherings. I was curious about the art and science about gathering people together. I had led a Book Club for decades that finally disbanded with the death of a member. I was ok with that as the monthly meetings had started as something I joyfully looked forward to and ended with it feeling like another obligation. But the experience led me to ponder the art and science of what makes a good gathering.
Would I be able to bring a diverse group of women together monthly for three years and have it grow ever more meaningful vs a monthly chore? What was the secret elixir that would make that possible? How do I create a container of space that feels safe and promotes full body listening?
So far The Circle of Six feels like it is gelling. Each month I am introducing rituals and rules to make that happen in fun, symbolic ways. And of course there is delicious, nurturing food! 😉
One fun thing I am trying is to encourage the participants to journal. I do so by sharing the monthly themes of my Wilde House Paper Intentional Planner. So far we have explored the themes of Expression, Clarity and Curiosity. In October, we will explore the word Pleasure. Here is what the founder of Wilde House Paper, Megan Heddinger has to say about Pleasure and two great questions she asks to start out the month’s exploration:
“Pleasure is the quiet permission to feel good without needing to earn it. It’s presence in its most embodied form — the first bite of your favorite dessert, the feeling of warming up with a hot shower, the exhale that comes when you close your eyes to go to sleep. True pleasure is not performative or excessive: it is subtle, nourishing, and deeply personal. It is slowing down long enough to notice what delights you. To savor instead of scroll. To let joy be reason enough. In a world that celebrates hustle, pleasure is a radical return to yourself — a reminder that feeling good is not a reward but a birthright.”
As a fun exercise, go through your five senses and jot down what gives each one pleasure.
Ask your significant other or friend the following questions:
What simple moments make you feel most alive?
Where do you resist pleasure and why?
Fall is my most favorite season and here are some new fall discoveries I have been looking forward to sharing with you.
Things to Do in Seattle:
Soak up the fall colors at the Kubota Garden, Washington Park Arboretum, Discovery Park, or Seward Park.
Things to Read:
Deep gratitude for the work that Gloria Steinem started and we carry on, here is an interview with her at the Cherry Bombe Jubilee
Things to Make/Eat:
Beauty to Enjoy:
I loved LaTonya Yvette’s Substack titled, Revisited: The Shape of Goodbyes. She is such a lovely writer.
She reminds us that Caroline Cala Donofrio wrote: “I once read that the seasons of the year mimic the cycles of a breath. Winter is a hold on empty, spring is a deep inhale, summer is a hold on full, and autumn is a slow exhale. Wherever you are, here is a reminder to breathe.”
Yes, autumn feels like a long, slow exhale. A shedding just like the leaves in the trees. Putting down what no longer serves us. The final autumnal clean up of our gardens that will happen after the last of the leaves drop after a vigorous windstorm. A long, slow exhale.
Have a lovely October. Explore what gives you pleasure this season. Take time to examine what hurt you might be consciously or unconsciously dragging around still like that last red maple leaf stuck on a high branch that you cannot easily grab and rake away. Maybe this is the year that you shake off that hurt and nurture your authentic self to see what blooms next spring in its place.
XOXO,
Coach Diane
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All artwork for 2026 is by Seattle artist, Anna Brones.
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