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Noticing

September 2023


November 3rd Workshop Offering with Nicole Mangina

We're in the final push for Q3 for those of you in the business world and 22 days left heading into September of official summer days. It has snuck up on us sooner than many of us thought. It's a good time to check your goals vs what you were able to accomplish and fine tune things heading into this last month of Q3, which traditionally for the real estate business is the busy fall months of September and October before going back to very few listings around Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year holidays.

My friend and partner in crime, Nicole Mangina and I are working on a Q4 Workshop for Friday, Nov 3rd at the Seattle Yacht Club from 9:30-12:30. I'll be teaching real estate business planning and she'll be teaching how to be mindful of our energy that we bring to that process. It'll be a fun collaboration and will be open to agents from all companies. We feel the 50 slots will fill up quickly. You can be successful on purpose or by accident. It is totally up to you! For more information, send me an email. I will put you on a list until the official sign up invite goes up.

Valerie Garcia birthday celebration

This last month was my birthday month. One of the things I value the most in my life are the people. Some create the waft of the tapestry of my life and some create the weave. Some I interact with daily and some I do not get to even speak with in person but feel intensely close to. Their friendships make me feel an abundance of riches that money in the bank feels hollow to in comparison. They are people who have shared some deeper, important moments with me, we are cheering each other on, or are there to commiserate when we stumble & need to be dusted off. They hold value and meaning in my life.

For my birthday, I hired my gifted Story Teller friend, Valerie Garcia, to Zoom in for an hour. I invited all to join. If you were there, thank you for showing up. Valerie is in the midst of writing her first book and has researched happiness. She shared her findings and pearls of wisdom with us. If you do not follow her on social media or subscribe to her newsletter, you are missing out on something very valuable!

Sign up here: www.valeriegarcia.com.

Here are her tips to happiness in your life!

1. Talk to more people. (The bank teller, the mail carrier, the grocery store clerk).


2. Do things that make you laugh. (Mr Fox and I make each other laugh daily.)


3. Schedule in the downtime. (Sneak preview…the first thing I coach in business planning is to carve out the days you will NOT be working!)


4. Write down the things you are grateful for. Journaling is so good for you! I start my day with intentions and end each day with thoughts of gratitude.


5. Don’t try to be who you aren’t. Embrace the deliciousness of who YOU are!


6. Learn how to engage in healthy conflict. Keeping things bottled up & expecting someone to read your mind is toxic and impossible. Stop it.


7. Give yourself permission to fail. The only mistakes or fumbles are the ones I don’t learn from.


8. Set boundaries. This is a BIG one that I do an entire talk on. Boundaries are SO very important. The best phrase I learned this year is, “My plate is as full as I would like it to be right now but thanks for asking.”


9. GETMO This was the GOLD for me of the hour. Good Enough To Move On. I tend to suffer from Perfection Paralysis. GETMO. Yes 90% of life is GETMO.


10. Ask for help. Yes! Ask for help. Learn to ask for what you need. If you are in crisis your friends want to help. The biggest gift you can give yourself and them is to be specific about how you need that be. My family knows that I need a lot of time alone, at home. The greatest gift they can give me when I am experiencing overwhelm is to leave me alone. I am so thankful I learned how to ask for that decades ago instead of the stiff upper lip.

Again, if you do not have yourself some Valerie Garcia in your life, you are missing out. Go to her website www.ValerieGarcia.com and sign up for her Love Letters and follow her on the socials. Also, if you're looking for a riveting keynote speaker, look no further—Valerie is available for keynote speaking.

She's the best!

Back to School & Kiddos, how to have stimulating & engaging conversations

Those of you with kiddos are dealing with back to school or have delivered your college kids off in a bigger way. We were fortunate when Kelley was in Primary and Middle Schools that we lived right above Seattle Country Day School. For the most part I was able to arrange my work to be home when she came in the door shortly after 3 p.m. I was sure to give her my full attention for at least a half hour before I went back to work. I have no idea if she realizes this but it was important to me. What is better than someone whose eyes light up when you enter the room. I still remember a day early on in Kindergarten when she came through that door and put her hand up to stop me. She said, “Mommy. I have no more nice left in me today. I have to be by myself”. Lol! Who does she sound like! I can appreciate that.

But for the days where they still have some gas in the tank, I found a great list of questions to ask your kiddos by Andrew Linder. You may know that I collect lists of questions.

So here are 15 random yet engaging questions to ask your kids at the end of a school day throughout the year. They’ll help you keep your kids in check, keep yourself in check, and hopefully help you to get more of a response than, “Eh, it was okay.”

1. Who did you spend the most time with at school today, and how did you two become good friends?

2. What subject do you feel you are doing the best in, and which subject are you struggling in the most?

3. Are the other kids in your class showing respect for the teacher and their rules? What about you? How would your teacher respond to this question?

4. How do you decide who you’ll sit with during lunch? Who did you sit with at lunch today? Have you ever tried looking for someone else who might need a friend at lunchtime?

5. What were one or two favorite parts of your day today? Tell me specifically what you liked about them.

6. Is there anyone in your class that’s being treated unfairly? Have you been treating anyone unfairly?

7. Do you have any homework? If so, how much and in what subjects? Is it anything I can help you with?

8. What’s one way that you helped someone out, or showed kindness or respect for someone else in your school today?

9. Can you think of anything you did today that would make your teacher proud to have you in their class, or that would have made us proud of you?

10. If I were to ask your classmates to give me a description of you and how you treat others in the class, how do you think they would describe you?

11. What is one thing your teacher said today that you remember most?

12. Was there anything that happened today that made you laugh?

13. What are some of the names of new kids you’ve met this year? What can you tell me about them and their families?

14. Can you tell me something out of the ordinary that happened to you today, and I’ll tell you something out of the ordinary that happened to me?

15. If you could change one thing about your class, what would it be?

These are just a sample of the many questions you could ask, and no doubt many more with some thought. Just make sure that your questions are specific and open-ended, and you’ll be on the road to having better and deeper conversations.

So the next time you’re on your way to pick up your kids from school put the phone on vibrate, turn off the radio, and take a few moments of silence to think about how you’re going to engage with your child as soon as they’re in your presence.

Because your initial response every day when first seeing your kids after school will inadvertently speak your value of them or lack thereof. Be on the lookout for your child’s arrival… Smile and look them in the eyes when you see them… And show them that you really do care about the details of their daily life.

The Difference Between Useful and Valuable

I've been saving a column by Chip Conley of Modern Elder Academy for awhile now. I have read it over several times now. It's titled The Difference Between Useful and Valuable.

After downsizing and minimizing my life to only allow the very best in, I have thought of this difference quite often. Because it is a short few sentences I will post it here for you to enjoy and ponder also.

I had never pondered the difference between these two words until my friend Joaquin Dulitzky told me the following:

“A corkscrew is useful, a hug from your mother is valuable. A door is useful, watching a sunset is valuable. A car is useful, a good friendship is valuable. Having hobbies is useful, having faith and praying is valuable. The useful is almost always more expensive than the valuable. In fact, what is valuable rarely costs money. This occurs because money is useful but not valuable. The valuable generates much more happiness in the long term than the useful, yet we often value the useful more than the valuable.”

Learning to distinguish between the useful and the valuable might be one of the wisest things you can do. There are times when useful will trump valuable, but most of the time, we don’t have to choose between the two.

Living well (or being wealthy) is learning how to luxuriate in the valuable, even when you’re not feeling very financially stable.

What are the things that are useful vs valuable in your life?

Where are YOU useful v valued?

Enjoy the last of summer 2023 this September! If you are a Realtor, consider signing up for Nicole's and my workshop on Friday, November 3rd. For more information, send me an email. I will put you on a list until the official sign up invite goes up.

I'd love to hear from you and know what you are up to and what you could use help on and what topic you would like me to touch on in future Noticing posts.

Thank you for reading till the end.


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