Noticing

October 2025

Artwork by Anna Brones

October 2025 Noticing

Doesn’t the end of September and beginning of October feel like the in-between days? It is not quite summer though the sun is shining bright as I type and it is also not quite time to put out ALL our fall clothes. The holiday season seems to have hit the retail shelves but we are not quite ready for THAT. Fall for me is the perfect time for slow travel. Schools are in session cutting down on crowds on the highway and airports. At our house we are getting in our share of shorter vacations to Whistler, Walla Walla, and Moab for now. I would love to revisit Cannon Beach too. But the bigger holidays still feel far enough away. 

I do love fall though because I always think of the fall as a new beginning. And while I no longer am thinking of new school shoes, notebooks and pencils, there is an undeniable feeling of possibility in the air. For myself, instead of business planning, I am doing more short sprints of goal setting and preparing for the best and worst case scenarios. At 66, I have lived through enough busts in the stock and or real estate markets. It taught me to always put away enough money so I can walk away from any situation that doesn’t align with my values. I have Mr. Fox to thank for always keeping us from ever over extending. And luckily, neither of us are keeping up with the Joneses type of people. 

I was recently reading Sahil Bloom who is one of my most favorite guys to make time for. Like the poet Yung Pueblo, so young but wise and so articulate. 

Sahil touched on the topic of rebounding by bringing up Miles Davis who famously said, 

“It’s not the note you play that’s the wrong note—it’s the note you play afterwards that makes it right or wrong.” The misstep doesn’t define you. Your next move does. Don’t sideline yourself in fear of playing the wrong note. Charles Darwin said, it’s not the strongest or smartest of the species that survives but rather the one most adaptable to change. I am going to continue to focus on being uncomfortable, grit, course correction and continuing to transform. A friend who has known me since my 20’s complimented me recently by saying she loved how I kept re-inventing myself. I am too! 

Unfortunately in the real estate world there are plenty of Chicken Little’s who exclaim that every shift in the wind is doomsday. Some do it to play off of our fears and some are genuinely scared to death because they are “over their skis” as Mr Fox would say. I think at work and life in general what has worked for me is to steer clear of flashy, chest pounding folks with loud confidence and what I can spot as a house of cards. 

Ours is a world that is addicted to 24/7 chaos, reactivity and noise. Oof. Especially now, the real flex is stability. It’s not glamorous, doesn’t demand attention but it is unmistakable to spot. It is the person who doesn’t flinch when the tone shifts. The one who can sit in silence without discomfort. The one with a solid routine.They are the most grounded people in the room. We all know the difference between working with someone who is reactive versus someone who is responsive. If your job has people looking to you for advice and good counsel; remember that stability is felt in your tone, your presence and your consistency. It is built through having utmost clarity and when you have it people can sense it and stop testing you and start trusting you so you can get to work. 

So ask yourself:

Am I reactive or responsive?

Do people feel steadiness when they are around me?

If not, how do you get there? I think it is by reinforcing the routines, rituals and boundaries to become that person. I actually think it is more of a stripping away than an adding more on. Simplify. Tighten. Protect the behaviors that keep your internal work clean. Sorry it’s not sexy. It won’t get you 1000 more instagram followers or 10000 more fake FB friends. Stability won’t go viral but it will be the reason your people trust and follow you. Forget the branding, the hustling and monetizing of everything. This kind of extrinsic motivation, when it begins to dominate our lives is going to end up with you feeling rather hollow. It is spiritual erosion. 

I would rather be quietly tending to deep work than trending. I would rather have a handful of deep and meaningful conversations a month with people than get hits. I would rather be present than polished. I want to live from the inside out rather than the outside in. I always want to be pointed to my own true North. I also want to always be working on what Krista Tippett calls “the hope muscle”. Regardless of the chaos of the daily headlines to always live with a vision and hope. 

Einstein said, “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”. 

I am very fond of a company out of Britain called Intelligent Change. I copied down an article that talked about how so many of us feel like we must keep DOING to be worthy and if we stop, we lose value.

As adults, this can show up as:

• Feeling guilty when resting or doing “nothing.”

• Overworking or giving too much to prove worth.

• Chasing the next achievement to feel good enough.

• Defining yourself only by roles (worker, parent, caregiver) instead of by who you are.

• Struggling to believe you are lovable just as you are.

This cycle creates exhaustion, self-doubt, and disconnection from your true self.

So how do we start healing?

First, you need to know that your value is intrinsic. You don’t earn it by working harder, producing more, or pleasing others. It’s rooted in your essence, in honouring who you are.

If you can offer kindness, compassion, and acceptance to others, it’s time to offer them to yourself too. Get to know yourself. Build a strong support system. The only validation you need is internal. So when you stop producing, pleasing, or performing, your value still remains untouched.

Here are 3 small ways to practice this:

1. Daily check-in: Pause and ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” ,without trying to fix or judge it.

2. Celebrate being: Write down one thing you love about yourself that isn’t tied to productivity (e.g.,kindness, humor, presence).

3. Rest without guilt: Schedule a 10-minute “do nothing” break. Remind yourself: my value doesn’t disappear when I rest.

Where you ultimately end up greatly depends on your daily attitude and response.

I know if you read my posts you have already heard this many times but I have practiced my simple, yet effective, rituals which keep me grounded. 

• My daily setting of intention during my shower.

• My 5x8 of encouraging 5 people by 8a.m. (the 5 and 8 are not literal and can be changed to what works best for you. Try starting with 2x12!).

• My evening reflection and journaling of 1-3 things I learned that day. If you go through your day with the mind of a student, it is amazing what things you learn. 

• At least one moment I am proud of myself for. This could be where I practiced the pause, bit my tongue, lead with curiosity and not judgement, practiced opening my heart, you name it. But I think about it and write it down. 

• Then I end my day with thoughts of gratitude. Always. 

Megan Della-Camina puts it perfectly:

“Listen to your inner wisdom

You hold a well of wisdom within you. It’s not the loud, logical voice that over analyses every decision. It’s the quieter one. The steady knowing. The inner whisper that often gets drowned out by doubt, comparison, or noise. But that voice, it’s yours. And it’s always speaking, even if you haven’t known how to hear it.”

Inner wisdom rarely arrives as certainty. More often, it comes as a nudge. A sense. A soft no that rises before your mind can justify a yes. Or a quiet yes that won’t leave you alone. When you slow down and listen - really listen - you’ll find that your wisdom has been guiding you all along. Not with perfect answers, but with truth.

Practice tuning in. Create small moments of silence where your inner voice can be heard. Ask yourself: What do I know, beneath the fear? What truth have I been avoiding? You don’t need external validation to trust yourself. Your inner wisdom is sacred. Let it speak. Let it lead you.

My hope is that despite how busy you may be, that you carve out moments of solitude to tune in to what your inner voice is saying to you: your wisest, inner knowing. Check in and let me know! I am always writing these blogs wondering if I should go on. But each month the most thoughtful readers reach out privately to say they loved it, or better that it helped them make a shift. Or someone will drop in a casual, unrelated conversation how they read my blogs monthly. It keeps me going. It really does! 

As I look outside my home office window and see my Japanese maple tree start to turn colors in preparation of shedding her 2025 leaves and my gorgeous hydrangeas who outdid themselves with a magnificent show this year also begin to turn towards slowing down and resting, I am reassured that it is the way of nature. It is the way. 

XOXO,

Coach Diane

Blog Artwork by Anna Brones