September 2024
Hello,
I am writing this while wrapping up August so I can get it to this wonderful woman who helps me with all the technical “stuff” so she can then get it published in a timely way before she departs on a well-deserved vacation.
August was my birthday month. I used the Facebook platform to raise $4848 for the Alzheimer’s Association. Thank you! Thank you if you were one of those generous donors. So many people bemoan Facebook but I have enjoyed the platform to make new friends, follow old friends and keep in touch with people I physically cannot keep up with but care for deeply. I find it a great place to cheer each other on publicly, show my friends what I’m working on and work on industry related issues in smaller FB Groups. I love that it makes videos for me and brings up memories for me. It allows me to really go into detail if a topic moves me or just post photos. If I click on an item I am considering purchasing but get called away, I can count on Facebook to remind me. So I am totally perplexed by the people who rage against it! I actually find Instagram to be visually interesting but akin to a great cheese plate that is waved in front of my face and then poof! Gone! No in depth anything at all. Perhaps I’m not using it correctly. I never got into Twitter or TikTok or many other things. As it is, I am spending way too much time on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and Pinterest.
I really missed the mark for our business when I predicted a significant slowdown in my real estate business for August and September. I was imagining loads of free time. We never slowed down and the cool house that I booked for the month of September in Port Townsend? I’ll be lucky to use it a total of 15 days at this rate and will be on the ferry more times than I would care to be.
In the spirit of this unexpected busy, late summer phase, since my July post, I rented a Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Truck for our Annual Neighborhood Get Together.
My partner and I racked our brains for smaller client events. We asked ourselves what we enjoyed most and flowers, wine and food kept coming up. So we partnered with Cedarhouse Flowers in Wallingford to have mini past client and referral get togethers a handful of times this summer.
I took a collage class from my past client and friend Lisa Snow Lady, which was so fun.
I finally got a haircut that was long over due (self-care is not my forte).
Mr Fox and I got two new custom couches for the living room in Gus Grey velvet from Capers in West Seattle. I’m giving up on down cushions and linen while our grand pup Gus is in our lives.
We closed one of my daughter’s friends on their first home and put a home with a pool in Magnolia on the market. We got NINE offers and close very soon.
We are prepping several more listings for September and Nahjeen is working with several of our buyers.
So, busier than I ever thought but not complaining! When rates go down in September, it’ll ramp up yet again with all the demand from the buyer pool who gave up and went on vacation or sat on the sidelines because their agents couldn’t explain why that was NOT the prudent thing to do.
I opted for no party for my 65th. August birthdays are not ideal. It’s either hotter than heck or raining in Seattle. So many restaurants are still having staffing issues. Most people are on vacation and I didn’t want to do anything that wasn’t meticulously planned and that window came and went. My phone has been bombarded with real estate solicitations, political and Medicare calls. SO annoying. But it turned out to be a great move because instead I had many spontaneous, small lunches and dinners with the people who matter the most—just the way I like it.
VULNERABILITY 101
This month, I’m going to be vulnerable and share with you one of my many, many shortcomings. I am flawed in that I have a very tough time with the concept of friends in the traditional sense. While I'm willing to bend over backwards for anyone that needs it, I’m unable yet to ask for help or be vulnerable in many ways due to my childhood.
Growing up near a U.S. Naval base overseas meant my classmates would come and go with the aircraft carriers their fathers were on. You never wanted to get too close because you knew it was never going to last. I am mistrustful when it comes to longevity in friends. There are a few critical times as an adult when I counted on a friend and have been terribly let down and traumatized. I would say that I live in my own head most of the time like a classic only child. When asked who my friends are, I always say I don’t have any. And the funny thing with life is that if you set yourself up for that, the Universe will help reinforce that people cannot be trusted. That you are not enough to be loved and cared for in the way you need. That you will disappoint others and also be disappointed by them.
I happen to love Chris Williamson on YouTube and here is what he recently said about friendships. I LOVED it! (Read it in his sexy British accent, if you will.)
Who are my best friends? is the wrong question. What are we 12!?
Instead ask:
-Who am I the least filtered around? That’s a good reframe.
-Who can you sit in silence with?
-Who would defend you in a room you are not in?
-If you tell this person good news will they be genuinely happy for you?
That really resonated with me because I DO have people I can sit in silence with, be completely unfiltered with, and friends I know would defend me in a room I am not in. I hope the people I consider my friends know it. I hope I tell them often.
This past month, I had examples of both extremes. In a room I was not in, someone spoke ill of me in a pretty outrageous way. It said more about them than it did me. Yet, no one stood up for me. Ouch! Really? At first the person who said it surprised me. I consider her someone dear to me and have invited her into my home on a few occasions. Was she feeling mentally stable? Was she ok? I was concerned more than hurt. BUT, when the curiosity about what might be going on with this person’s mental health wore off, there was a dank feeling of disappointment towards the person who felt the need to tell me about it and the glaring fact that they did not stick up for me or leave the room.
Contrast that with a dinner I had with a friend recently where I unfortunately said something true but better left unsaid about a mutual person we know. At best, it was conduct unbecoming on my part for the quick dopamine hit and reactions it evoked. It was better left unsaid and was one of the few times this year where I woke up the next day with regret and remorse and thoughts about how much more work I still need to do to become a better version of myself. Then the phone rang and it was my friend from dinner. She was calling to say that it didn’t set well with her that I had said what I did.
Now in my mind, THAT is a true friend. Someone who cares enough about you and your relationship to pretty much say, (my words) “Hey I was disappointed and felt it was beneath you to bring that up. It bothered me all night because you’re better than that.”. All this to say, I'm 65 and still have lots of work to do. I plan to bring a lot of intentionality to that and work on it.
My daughter highly recommends a book called “Big Friendship, How We Keep Each Other Close”, by Aminatou Sow and AnnFriedman. It’s in my September pile of books to read.
Coaching & Mentoring: we all need it from time to time
I am blessed to also be working with several one-on-one coaching clients. This work brings me SO much joy. To be able to have sacred, one-on-one time, listen deeply and then hopefully open a door that resonates for them to open and explore is very satisfying. I think everyone should have a coach. Several in a lifetime. I have treated myself to two mentor/coaches this year: Pema Chodren of Gambo, Abbey and Tara Mohr. I wish they had one-on-one sessions but I still get so much from carving out sacred time to be present with their teachings, my thoughts and work on myself.
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti
I do have room for one-on-one or group coaching. I'd love to chat with you more about what you need and want and how I can help you get there
PRIDE & BRAVERY
I am also very proud of friends who have really challenged themselves to be brave and try new things. My friend, Valerie Garcia, has her first book out; We’re Gonna Need Cake. My FB friend, Kendyl Young, in Glendale has become a legitimately great artist and her work is found on Etsy. Other people in my world are fighting and conquering cancer, becoming new moms, becoming first time empty nesters. I am noticing all sorts of people bravely facing new challenges.
“The most regretful people on earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave to it neither power nor time.”
―Mary Oliver
What I'm thinking about for Fall & Yung Pueblo, of course
My personal fall challenge is to work on new talks & workshops to follow my Listening Workshops on how to communicate more effectively. I am fascinated by neurolinguistics, the choice & use of words, and the order of words. I hope to challenge myself to speaking publicly more. I am honored to be asked to speak to Lena Maul’s Windermere office for their big fall Kick Off Event in early September.
I truly believe that we quiet, introverts have a lot to say. It’s just getting us to be brave so we can use our voices publicly that is the challenge!
I cannot close without sharing more Yung Pueblo with you. I am astounded by how wise he is for his youthful age. Enjoy!
Life won’t stop being challenging. When your self-awareness grows and you become more in tune with your truth, there will certainly be more harmony in your life, but it will not stop the random difficulties that emerge. The point of life is not to make the ocean of reality totally placid, still, and ever pleasant, that is not possible. Instead, the goal is to develop the inner resilience you need to not get knocked down by the inevitable waves.
IN CLOSING…
Fall is seen as a beginning for many. How about you? Do you think of January or September as the beginning? I'd love to hear what you hope to accomplish and what to work on this fall. Whatever it is, notice things, listen well, pause and then choose your words carefully.
And please, do let me know….how can I help?
Sincerely,
Coach Diane
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