Noticing
- diane terry
- Apr 5
- 7 min read
April 2026: You Matter to Me
Dear Readers,
I wanted to share with you a telephone conversation I had with an acquaintance last week. My friend, A, who is an introvert, like I am, had been mulling over something that had happened last year and it was still eating at her and taking up more mental space than it deserved.
How many of us can relate? I can take a situation and play it backwards and forwards and click it around like a Rubik’s Cube. Was it something I did? Was it something I said? Did I miss something? Well kudos to my friend who finally picked up the phone and asked, “Hey did I miss something?”. Ah! So good. So refreshing. As it turned out, it had nothing to do with her. Have you ever experienced that when you think you are the cause of an issue? But we all have messy, complex lives that have nothing to do with the connection we share. We are juggling a lot of other things that sometimes slosh onto other parts of our lives.
It brought to mind the word GRACE, which is one of my most favorite words. To allow each other grace. What an opportunity to clear the air and give each other grace and confirm how fond we truly are of each other. I still smile when I think of it. Thank you A. What a lesson for us all. If you are carrying around something unresolved, I urge you to put it down, clear the air. You will feel so much lighter if you do.
Last month for International Women’s Day, I got brave and asked eight women who matter to me to make time for our friendship on a Sunday. I gathered us all at the beautiful home and magical studio of Maura Whalen at Casablanca Floral for brunch and a floral class. Some of the women I have known for some time, others I have met recently and wanted to get to know better. Some just happened to be in town which seemed like kismet to me. But the theme to the gathering was Mattering and I wanted to show these lovely women how much they matter to me. Instead of wishing and wondering, I just finally got to it and made it happen. I got to put together goodie bags which is my second most favorite thing to do, next to writing notes. With the help of Capers, I was able to give each guest a copy of the great new book, a box of chocolates from a female chocolatier, Dolcetta, in Georgetown, opalite hearts in special recycled boxes with a celestial theme, from my Advent calendar from Dandelion chocolates, and a special message for each guest.
And as if the Universe understood where I was going with this, the books and chocolates were wrapped in wonderful celestial paper by the ladies at Capers Home. I wrote each guest a handwritten note to finish off the bag and it made me all kinds of happy as gifting and note writing always does. I am a huge proponent of letting the people who matter to you know it. Notice when someone is doing something great and let them know you see them. It never gets old. In this fast paced life we lead, it often is a minority voice that does this. What are ways you can show the people in your life that they matter? How can you thank someone for the way they’ve showed you that you matter to them?
I signed up for the launch of Albert Brook’s new book The Meaning of Life and his weekly blog on The Free Press. I coincidentally was on the same Zoom as someone who I met years ago now at Genuine Hustle in Baltimore, who I absolutely adore. She lives her life in Pennsylvania in a way that she is Moral Beauty personified. Brooks speaks about how we all spend way too much time online using the wrong hemisphere of our brains and need to reconnect with our “Moral Beauty”. For those of you unfamiliar with this term, here is what he had to say.
Here are four ways to find more moral beauty and benefit from its influence.
Keep more morally beautiful company. I daresay many of us keep the company of cynics and skeptics. As an alternative, identify people in your life who are generous, hopeful, and dedicated to serving others.
Make moral beauty a leisure activity. I have seen many people who have dramatically improved their lives by making service to others their hobby or pastime. Forget the beach—go volunteer instead.
Practice gratitude. The latest research shows that gratitude is one of the best self-transcendent emotions. Taking time to consciously focus on things you’re grateful for will eradicate the cynic in you.
Celebrate moral beauty publicly. These days, we tend to celebrate trash-talking and canceling, especially online (which tends to be a wasteland for moral beauty). Flip the script in your own life: Sing the praises of a person who has been especially kind to you. Perhaps that might be a parent or grandparent who hasn’t heard appreciation in some time.
We’re all drawn to moral beauty, but we have to go looking for it—and practice it. I hope you’ll join me in the pursuit of both.
Chip Conley who heads MEA (Modern Elder Academy) closed out the Zoom for the book launch. He was the perfect person to do so as he has dedicated so much time around midlife and how he has been on a quest about the important questions we ask in midlife. It is no longer “How do I succeed”. In fact, that is no longer the question because achievement and meaning are not the same thing. And the very things that make us successful early in life can be the very things that disconnect us from meaning later in life.
He goes on to say that for many people, what is missing is meaning.
Arthur frames meaning around three deceptively simple questions:
Why do things happen the way they do in my life? (coherence)
Why am I moving in this direction? (purpose)
Why does my life matter? (significance)
When these three components are aligned, life doesn’t just look good but it feels meaningful.
Chip is often heard saying that midlife isn’t a crisis – it is a chrysalis. A transition from a life defined by performance to one defined by purpose. The move from “success” to meaning.
Speaking of MEA, I am so thrilled to introduce you to two women who I met there last year. Valerie Black, who owns The Change Agency, helping to empower leaders to unlock their full potential. She lives in North Seattle and is the most consummate hostess. She started a podcast last year called Becoming Power, which I thoroughly enjoy listening to. She has what we Oldsters like to call, a voice made for radio. On March 24, she interviewed my favorite person I met at MEA, Shirley Shoalwalter. She is an author who wrote about her Mennonite childhood (and another great book on Grandparenting) to earning her PhD and eventually a liberal arts college president to then serve as vice president of the Fetzer Institute. Episode 6 of Season Two is a gift to us all and I highly encourage you to listen asap.
I am going to end this edition of Noticing by sharing some of my favorite finds in March.
Everyone has heard me bemoan for years how it has been near impossible to find blue jeans that fit an apple body with no backside. Well the search may be over. Good American, their jeans only come in two sizes because there is lycra stretch in the fabric. With my body dysmorphia I ordered the larger size. I looked fantastic in them when I first put them on. But an hour in, the crotch was down past my knees. So I ordered the smaller size and I remain hopeful.
If you follow me on my private page on Facebook, I posted a book and asked who sent it to me. Well, wouldn’t you know I bought it for myself back in December but it didn’t arrive till late March by which time I had completely forgotten about it. This book called The Book of Thanks contains 52 pages of art/poetry of Rachel Hebert. It comes in a linen box that turns into a book stand. It is sublime. If anyone in your life deserves a special thank you and is a book lover like I am, this is a solid choice. It is from Acorn Press in Oakland.
Of course I took the occasion of the arrival of this sublime gift to myself to finally pull the trigger on this black, iron bookmark from Japan that I have coveted for over ten years now. It is from Wms & Co which is a site filled with things I love. Their curation of things from around the world makes me almost weep. Check them out.
My other current favorite on line shopping sites:
Collagerie, curated by Lucinda Chambers of ex Vogue fame feels like having the hippest Londoner as a bff.
Top Drawer, where Mr Fox found his favorite new slippers. I am enamored with their Japanese handkerchiefs to use as napkins.
Elsie Green and Hudson Grace where I am tempted often for more tableware I do not need but torture myself by looking nonetheless.
I hope you all enjoy the month of April and all the wonderful things in our gardens that are finally awaking from their winter slumber. Spring always reminds me of hope and new beginnings. I wish you a month away from your screens and exploring deeper, more meaningful conversations with the people in your lives. I am going to try to do the same.
XOXO,
Coach Diane
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All artwork for 2026 is by Seattle artist, Anna Brones.
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