Noticing

June 2026: Presence and Gravitas

Artwork by Anna Brones

Dear Readers,

I have been pondering the topic of presence and gravitas lately. What it means, how you get it, how you know it when you see it and some have it and some just don’t. I have always been curious what that is all about. 

I have noticed that presence and gravitas depends on reputation. Most people think reputations are built in large moments but those are one offs and often one hit wonders. Popularity and presence are not the same.

Reputations are actually formed in the smallest, quietest promises you make…and keep. In the small acts of kindness performed when no one is watching. How you help a stranger, who can in no way return the favor, that speaks volumes. 

It is being a person of your word, be it big or small. Reliability. Follow through. You know when certain people say, “I will handle it”, that it WILL indeed get done and you stop thinking about it.It is respecting other people’s time enough to be on time. These things may sound minor but they are not. They are the building blocks of trust and respect. Trust doesn’t get formed through what you say but rather by what you actually do. Proven reliability. 

Once your word carries meaning, your presence carries authority. 

The opposite is equally true.

Every small broken promise is an erosion of trust. 

I find that people with gravitas understand that integrity is not situational, but rather structural. The way you handle the small things determines how you will handle the big things. They become your DNA. 

Keeping small promises builds an internal trust. Following through on a morning run even in the pouring rain, or maintaining a routine you have for a reason, when it would be easier to hit the snooze button. Keeping small promises vs erosions of trust begin first with one’s self. 

Some people have an interminable need to be liked and will say whatever appeases the person in front of them for the moment. Not reliable. Not trustworthy. Not reputable. No gravitas.

Self trust builds confidence. When you trust yourself, your decisions become clearer, your posture stronger and your presence becomes calmer.

Knowing you need to follow through makes it so much easier to know when to say yes and when to say no. These days, if it is not a hell yes, it is a no for me. Because I don’t want to disappoint myself, much less anyone else by saying yes and then having to backtrack on my yes. I have learned to trust my gut. NO has become a complete sentence.

Comparison is the enemy of presence because it pits who you are against another person.  This always creates instability because your identity is now conditional on what others are doing. 

Trust your own damn self, your discipline, your standards, your own trajectory.

Focus on executing better, refining further, become even more. I promise you this creates a different kind of presence. You will move more calmly, speak deliberately, act with purpose instead of urgency, because you are no longer trying to prove anything to anyone but YOU. People sense this immediately. They will sense your composure. 

Your only competition becomes who YOU were yesterday. 

You will win by now no longer giving an external force an emotional charge. No more competing for validation. Instead you are building an internal certainty that cannot be taken from you. 

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My sixties has been a beautiful journey of growing into the essence of who I have always been meant to be. But instead of a moving towards it, it feels more like a “returning to” my core that has always been there patiently waiting for my return.

I read somewhere last month that life is a venn diagram of what we control, what we don’t control and in the middle intersection is that which we influence. I find myself being ever so mindful of what I am able to influence. This is quite often how something begins. So how can I notice and begin a conversation or interaction with curiosity.

This third posture of influence is called the posture of the gardener.  

You don’t command the weather. You don’t abandon the garden. 

You tend. 

You notice. 

You adjust.

You show up again tomorrow. 

The outcome is not yours, but the relationship to it is. 

I simply love that analogy.

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I can’t leave you without sharing also some of my tidbits of joy from the past month:

Movie I Am Revisiting: 9½ Weeks with my favorite minute between 15:00 to 16:00.

Book I am Loving:  London Plane Flower & Cookbook by Katherine Andersen

Current Favorite Artist: Anna Brones and her new Summer Collection and Washi Tape

Recipe I want to try: The Pasta Table’s Lemon Artichoke Capellini with Toasted Breadcrumbs 

Beverage I’m loving: Japanese Mugicha

New Project I am Working On: A journaling group.  Did you know I am an affiliate of Wilde House Paper? I love every single product they offer. 

Music I’m playing on repeat: ARIRANG by BTS. My favorite songs are, Please and Into The Sun at the end of the album. Best reviewer of BTS is Roscoe on YouTube. So good! 

Thank you for patiently reading my evening ramblings that are occupying my mind this evening. Wishing you a wonderful June! A month of dads, graduations, barbecues, open toe shoes, linens & cottons. Car trips with books on tape or songs to be sung at the top of our lungs. It’s such a precious life we are given. Let’s all make the most of it! 

XOXO,

Coach Diane

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All artwork for 2026 is by Seattle artist, Anna Brones.